These quiet adventures

mewtoot:

i think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy

because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless

and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that

(Source: circumcisions)

• Get anxious about asking for help, and then never do, and then end up realizing that I was being stupid and really how hard is it to send an email desperately asking for a job?
• Procrastinate
• Over think everything
• Let myself become invested in things that are likely temporary
• Feeling like my ideas of doing something independent and worthwhile are silly and insane and doubting myself.

I got my first job offer for a volunteer position out in Yosemite National Park tracking chipmunks and while I’m happy about it I”m also scared shitless at the prospect of being so far away and so in the middle of no where. And so, I don’t know what to do.

Good things

• I ran a half marathon in under two hours (almost barfed at the end).
• Presented my SIP and actually felt good about it (I never feel good about presentations).
• I have two job interviews tomorrow, one for a field job at Yosemite.

Bad things

• One of those jobs is a volunteer position and the other has a mandatory May start date.
• I don’t know where I’m living in about two months.